Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Austin's World

Austin is a silly, silly boy.  I keep a running list of things both boys do on a regular basis, but in going through the list tonight, I noticed that funny boy Austin deserved his own post!

I sing a lot.
Well, "sing" in the sense that I am not "talking."
(There's no skill involved.)
It's more of an annoying habit than anything.
Anyway, one day at a soccer game, I was "singing"
"Mommy's got to peeeeeeeeee
Mommy really needs to peeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
I've got to peeeeeeeee so baddddddddddllyyyyyyyyyyyyy."
Sitting in my lap watching his brother play,
Austin starts singing back to me,
"There's a bathhhhhhhhhhhhhroommmmm
Right overrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr thereeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee."

Austin's a big word "decipherer.".
"Library, I wonder if you can get "berries" at the li-berry."
"Soccer, I wonder if it's cuz you play in your socks."


"Mom, what are we having for dinner tonight?"
Pork chops
"Oh, like on the por'ch?"
No, baby, pork chops.
"Oh, like in a porka dance?"
No, dear.


Conversation from several weeks ago:
Austin: "Mom, when it gets to be Christmastime, can we go stay in a hotel?"
Um, maybe, I don't know. Why do you want to go to a hotel?
"Well, cuz at Christmastime, so the (Magic) Elf won't know where we are. K, Mommy?"


Wheres your shirt Austin?
"I flung it over there."
Where, Austin?
He's now clearly annoyed with me for interrupting his daydreams,
"Mommmmmmmmmm, It's over there.
It fell onto our picture, the one from when we were babies and were first donated."


After getting yelled at by Nonnie for making a HUGE mess in her bathroom,
"When I grow up, I'm going to have a house
and let lots and lots of little kids come in
and make a big mess!!
And I WON'T even yell at them!!"

"When are we moving, Mom?"
We're not, baby.
"Yes, I wanna! How come, Mom?"
Well, we just hadn't planned on it.
Our house suits us just fine.
"Well, maybe I planned on it!"

"Mommy, is Tracey mean?"
Is she mean? I don't know, why?
Why? Who do YOU know that's mean, Austin?
Yes, I am, aren't I?
I yell a lot, huh?
Why do I do that?
"Cuz we don't listen."
Yeah. I'm sorry I yell so much.
What do you think we could do to change that?
So that Mommy doesn't yell soooo much
Austin:  "I know, Mommy!
You could make Austin and Logan robots.
And then you could have the controls
And then when you wanted us to do something,
you just push the buttons. Howz that, Mommy?"
(Thinking, I have raised a BRILLANT son!)
Yesssssssssssssssss!!! Ohmygoodness!!Yes - THAT is exactly what Mommy would like.
Two little robots and maybe even a Daddy robot who would do EXACTLY as I tell them!!
Oh, Austin, that is an Awesome, idea!

Breaking up a fight one day, I hear the usual,
Mom, he HIT me!
Did not! Did too!
But I had to laugh at Austin's next line:
"He did too, Mom!  So, throw him in the trash, Mom!!  NOW!"
Logan: "No, throw HIM in the trash, Mom!"
Yes, I broke this fight up by laughing so hard, they joined in.

After another particularly trying day, but thankfully a day Daddy was off,
I announced I was going upstairs to take a shower.
"Okay, Mommy, then you can unthink about all the things we did."
I thought he was being a little sarcastic butt
(NO clue where he would get that from!)
Excuse me, Austin?  What did you just say?
"In the shower, Mommy. 
You can unthink about all the things we did wrong today
and then you will be all happy again!"

Smart little boy!

Argument overheard while the boys were watching a movie:
Logan: "Was that a fart?"
Austin: "Yes, it was."
Logan: "Oh, was it that boy?"
Austin: "No, it wasn't.  It was Alvin."
Logan: "No, chipmunks don't fart?"
Austin: "Yes they do."
Logan: "No, they don't."
Austin: "Yes they DO, cuz they're alive and alive things fart!"

Logan and I are always standing at the door, ready to leave for the day.
Austin is always, always running around missing  his pants, his coat, his anything.
I had yelled out my 2 minute warning and then headed out the door.
Austin ran to catch up to Logan and I and very proudly announced,
"I'm ready, Mom!!"
Really, Austin?  Really?  You got everything you need today, buddy?
Austin, were you planning on wearing shoes today, baby?
He looks down and seems surprised to not have any shoes on,
but he laughs and goes off searching for them.

And one final one.
It wouldn't be a complete post about Austin
without including one about his unique accent.
The boys were throwing out things
that began with the letter "J."
Then, Austin says:
Oh, well, no Austin, that's not quite right.
Almost though, but "drawer" starts with a "D."
"No, Mommy!  Drawer!  You know, what "jelly" is in?"

"Jar," Austin?
Yes, Mommy!  Jaw'er!

I don't really need to tell you which one Austin is, do I?


Hannah said...

Oh my...how I love these boys!! He is BRILLIANT! Our Grand-babies are going to be the funnest, most beautiful, intelligent children ever. Either that or they will take over the world and make us their minions. Either way :)

Tracey said...

Hi-larios! Gotta love that crazy boy! And yes, for the record, "Tracey is mean". Van said it tonight, mom is being kinda mean, she must be mad. I need to start writing those funny lines down too...we could do a book of boy toddler-isms!!

Dena said...

hahahaha....when annabelle gets mad at me she says "i'm gonna throw you in the trash can"

kills me everytime

Christina said...

HAHAHA! I so needed this. My fav has to be the elf on the shelve. I don't blame him for that one...the commercial kinda freaks me out.

Steph said...

What a riot! I love it! I am so impressed you write everything down. I always say I need to start doing that. I feel inspired!

Bobbi said...

These are always so fun to read, and FUNNY!!! But, I am sure at times not so much for you!!

UMMMMMMMMM, yes I do need a label, thank you