Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Bed Time Stories

As previous co-sleepers who spent a long time getting the boys to fall asleep by themselves, we rarely allow ourselves the luxury of laying down with them at night.

Exhausted one evening and ready for bed myself, I giggled when I saw Austin and Logan's eyes light up when I said "Move over, Mommy;s going nite-nite, too."  (They ask about every night.) 

So we settled down to our old routine, me sprawled out on my back, arms spread out to each side, the twins demanding, "I want a shoulder, Mommy!  I want a shoulder."

So, they each claimed a side.  Memories of how we had fallen asleep for naps (2x a day) and nighttime for a year a half came back instantly.  Usually one twin would cuddle into me, head on my shoulder, leg across my belly and then the other twin would snuggle up with his back to me, wrap my arm around his body, and lay his head on my shoulder.   I've never been a "laying on my back" kind of sleeper, but having them close to me like that, after being away from them for so long; And especially with having two, where it was hard to have solo cuddle time without the other one pulling on ya and trying to get up on your lap, too (which I never minded), it was always so nice just be able to lay there and have both of them right there with me.  My body couldn't give birth to them, and I couldn't be there physically to hold and comfort them for their first year, so I really relished my role as human sleeping bag/pillow.  I loved that these two energectic, non-stop spit-balls of life would mold themselves against me, match my breathing and be out in no time!  I loved that the warmth my body provided, allowed for extra long naps.  That if they woke up and I was still there, they would smile, snuggle down and fall right back asleep. 

As we settled down last night and the boys got calm, Logan was on one side of me and he began to "day-dream" about his favorite obsession: basketball.  "Mom, when I play basketball, I'm gonna go out of the locker room and onto the basketball court.  And you'll be there.  And the cheerleaders are gonna do flips and wave their pom-poms.  And when I score, Mom - you're gonna say, 'Yay, go Logan! WooooooHoooooo!'  Right, Mom?"  

And at the same time, Austin was on the other side of me, mommy'ing me.  Doing all the things I do to show my love for him.  He would lean up, kiss my forehead (extra long), brush my hair and say, "Oh, Momma I just love you so much.  You're my extra special gurl and I'm so proud of you."  And then he kissed me again and smiled (just like I do) and then he ad-libbed and said, "And I'm your extra special boy, right Mom?"    

Oh, how did I get so lucky?  Despite all my yelling, all my not-so-patient Mommy-moments, at the end of the day, I know that Logan's perfect moment in life is not complete without me being there to cheer him on and I know that Austin's fierce and loving heart is well tended to and that he knows he is loved deeply by his Momma. 


Keith and Jamie said...

you brought me tears...happy tears!

Bobbi said...

Ok, like I wasn't on the verge of tears with this beautiful portrayal of your bonding time, then you go and put all the loving stuff in there and I am a puddle. What special boys you have. While you are so lucky to have them, they are equally as lucky to have you.

Steph said...

Hand over the tissues!!! How beautiful. Perfect moments. This is what life is all about.

Tracey said...

So sweet...you are making me cry!!