Monday, September 8, 2008

Beginnings of the "seconds"...

For the last week or two, I guess as we rolled along into September, I started feeling a flutter of excitement that I couldn't quite pin down.


Last July and August, Austin and Logan's first two months home were mostly a whirlwind, a glorious blur. Everything was new - going to the grocery store, to church, taking them out by myself the first time...

I know this was probably technically they're "second" summer home - but it sort of felt more like their first. First time to the beach, first time really enjoying and absorbing all that summer has to offer.

Now, with the change of season's approaching, I truly feel like we are on our first round of "seconds." Their 2nd year of football games (at the high school), their 2nd trip to the pumpkin patch, their 2nd Halloween.

And oddly enough, today marks their 432nd day in the US. That means they've been here longer than they were there. No, I haven't been counting the days, I was just feeling reminiscent and remembered having that same thought as I was sitting in the airport in Guatemala (okay, well not so much sitting as running around in two different directions chasing on-the-go 14 month olds...but anyway, I was) thinking - Wow, we're finally going home, I'll finally get to be the mother to these two little souls that I had poured out so much love onto for an entire year - and yet they barely knew me. For thirteen months they had been raised by other women. And now we would begin weaving our life tapestries together. The day when I would begin raising them in their new home, our home. I remember wondering about 14 months from now - 14 months of me imprinting my love and mothering onto them.

The amount of time that I HAVE them being equal to the amount of time that I didn't have them. 14 months of having them tucked in safely at home - right down the hall from me.
There are moments when I am appreciative of the time they had in Guatemala. Moments when I'm grateful that they got to spend so much time in their home country with loving families and having those imprints go into shaping their lives as well.

Don't get me wrong, if I could change time and bring them home sooner, I would have! It's just that now that the pain is gone, now that they're with me - I can step back and see at least some of the positives to having had them spend a full year of life in their birth country.

And, at least in my case - I wasn't exhausted going into chasing 14 month olds.
Last summer - I was soaking in every minute with my babies. And every minute brought me some new discovery, some new delight in getting to know my children. July and August were a wonderful blur.

But the fall, the changing of the seasons - I remember. Dressing them in jeans. And long sleeves as the weather cooled off. And little coats. Later, hats and mittens. Seeing their first snow.
There's something so incredibly charming and peaceful and yet at the same time, something so exciting about "seconds." I guess, it's creating memories. Creating traditions. Creating a family. A history. A history of togetherness.

And what's a walk down memory lane without some pictures to go along with it:









And now some cuteness from my big boys....

11 comments:

Guatmama said...

Thanks for reminding me that even though Joe is not home yet, I will have lots of time (God willing) to place my love on him!! Precious pictures!

Heidi said...

I love that second pic, that is so precious. I remember when Emmi was home with us longer than she was in Guatemala and I don't know what it is about that but it definately impressed upon me as well.

Our Family of 5 said...

My goodness Donna!
They really are the cutest little men! I look forward to your posts and to seeing new pictures of them.

Gwen, Jenny, & Mia said...

What a great trip down memory lane! The boys were so small a year ago and now they are so big! so cute but so big!!!

Suzanne said...

Time has gone by sooo fast! We also are at that special moment in time :) We are very lucky to have these precious boys in our lives. Bryan Carlos is very busy, being a two year old...we need a playdate soon. Or a dinner date--I keep asking for Gary- but have not run into him yet.

Bobbi said...

TISSUES!!! Isn't it great to have the seconds.....I JUST did a seconds post. It is a great moment when they have been with you longer than they weren't. It made me feel more like his mama. I think we all feel that way.

Oh, how they have grown and changed. Where did those babies go??

WIth two I would think everyday would be a blur!! I got your e-mail, but have been lazy. Hoping to get back to your tomorrow!!

YOu know how much I love pics of those two!!

Tina said...

Donna you succeeded in making me cry. I am loving the seconds and the firsts.

Greta Jo said...

What a post! Thanks for the tears again, Donna. Time goes so fast! UH!
I can not wait to see photos of the boys this fall.

Steph said...

What a wonderful post!! What a year it has been! We are right where you were last year at this time. ;)

Tracy said...

Just found your blog and your twins are just precious. What a beautiful post!

Cheryl Lage said...

Love the inherent appreciation blended with nostalgia in your acknowledgment of the "seconds!"

Let me vouch that the joy continues...we're on our "sevenths" and lovin' every minute of it!

Fantastic pictures, Donna...'nother playgroup soon?