If you’re still on this roller coaster ride with us…

We are at the top of another crest….So, we hit Barrios desk last Thursday.

At that time, we were told:

- Barrios was taking a “couple” of weeks to sign off on files
- Barrios was going to be out of the office for 10 – 12 – 20 ? days
- He may/may not have someone signing off his files in the meantime.

Tonight, we learned that Barrios was going to try and sign off on ALL cases submitted in March (that’s us) before he left today.

He heh he! Could this be our OUT!?! Hopefully, we’ll find out tomorrow or Thursday. He heh he!!

We went from a worst case 20 day delay to a possible OUT already. Isn’t that exciting!?!

I’m a much happier camper when I can have just a little dab of hope. A little dab ‘il do ya!

He heh he!

And not to mention, you guys have completely lifted me up once again with your wonderful words of wisdom and God’s desire for our (all of ours’) happiness!



























"Hey, Mom! Hey, Dad! - yeah, we're already OUT, we know it. We just hope that you find that out, too. SOON!"

My Wimpy Update

I have nothing. LOL. Nothing to update.

And I have a confession, I sulked today.

Now, last night, I had a long talk with myself about submitting to God's will. I truly embraced the Dolphin's Perspective (from two posts ago). From where I'm sitting, things look rotten. I've already waited too long for my babies. I want to go be with them NOW. Now works for my timeline.

But, God is up to something more. I need to trust in Him. He's got a much better perspective on this situation than I do.

So, I allowed myself one more day to sulk. One more day to kick my feet at the dirt, create a little dust storm and go to bed tonight asking for more strength, more faith, more hope and a renewed bounce in my steps tomorrow. To count my blessings and joys, not my sorrows.

God is my provider. I have an incredible husband and two terrific teenage boys. I have a wonderful mom and a great family. My friends and support team are many and I am truly blessed. AND I have two of the sweetest, most loveable, giggling little boys that are almost in my arms forever.

I am blessed.

Temper Trantrum!

Okay – I’ve kicked a few doors, stomped my feet, banged around the house, salammed a few doors, cursed at slow drivers and basically had my little temper tantrum. All I needed was one thing, one thing to go my way. Why couldn’t we have gotten out of PGN – or at least told that next week was a realistic “out” time for us? Why the set back? Why the additional delays? I just WANT MY CHILDREN!!

So, I tried to deny it, I tried to ignore it, I tried talking myself into it, but realistically this news means that I cannot leave Thursday.

We are financially and emotionally prepared for my absence for a 3-5 week timeframe. We were hoping that we would be near a PGN out, so that left a cushy 3-5 weeks to get a new birth certificate, enter the US Embassy and wait for our visa appointment.

Now that we’ve entered the unknown again – Barrios gone for one week? 20 days? Will files be getting signed off on? Will this cause yet another backup at PGN? We could potentially be looking at another 2-4 weeks just in PGN. Plus the 3-5 weeks out of PGN.

So, we’ve done what we’ve done this whole past year. We’ve rallied. We’ve come to terms with it, refocused and are plunging along. Like we have any other choice, right? LOL

I’d like to the think that two more weeks could do the trick. That would bump my trip to May 24th and give Barrios and PGN about 21 days to get their act together! Surely, good news will come within that timeframe!!

Two weeks, they seem like forever. But not when you put it in the perspective of a whole year. Two weeks are just two weeks. Two weeks buys me time for a miracle. Two weeks could bring me lots of good news. Two weeks could bring us our “OUT.” Two weeks from the “Dolphin’s Perspective” could make all the difference!

Sigh

I can see the finish line! We’re almost there….

As the World Turns….

Ugh. My lawyer sent me an e-mail yesterday. We should be on Barrios desk today. He says it will take a couple weeks for Barrios to sign off. Ugh. Barrios may be out of the office next week. Ugh. Ugh. Rumor Mill says Barrios is leaving for 20 days. UGh.

Lawyer will let me know today if I’m on Barrios desk and if he will be out of the office next week.

What they don’t know: My file is bright ORANGE and burning a hole on that desk to get OFF. If it hits today, it will accidentally go to the top of the pile and WILL be SIGNED off on tomorrow!! Before he leaves!

Are you with me? Everyone focus. Send GOOD thoughts, GOOD vibes and LOTS and LOTS of prayers for an OUT!!!

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On another note.....here's a quiet reflection. I found this yesterday and it really applies to me and my life this past year, but I hope that you read it and get something out of it for yourself, too. God Bless!!

It is called a Dolphin’s Perspective.

A while back, I watched a nature special on TV about sick dolphins. The dolphins were dying. They could be saved if they could be treated with antibiotics. They had to be caught in a huge net, snatched up from the ocean, and then pulled overboard into waiting boats.

It must have been terrifying for them. Human hands were all over them. Human voices were shouting directions. They had no way of knowing that these new experiences were well-intentioned. They had oinly the dolphin perspective. They were at point A. Their survival depended on them getting to point C. But first they had to go through point B--an insecure place full of unknowns, a place were endurance seemed impossible.

Life is difficult with limited perspective. At point B our human perspectives cannot anticipate the good possibilities of Point C. God's perspective sees the whole picture. He knows that to survive spiritually, we must experience transitional periods; we must go through point B to get to point C. Like the marine scientists who cared for the well-being of the dolphins. God has our best interests in mind throuh the whole painful process of change.

I think it is a very good example of how most parents are feeling through the adoption process, although we know the outcome is wonderful, we still would love to go straight to point C abd skip B all together if only we could. God is using our experiences to help us better appreciate point C. We are lucky to have a God that is caring and loving enough to help us appreciate Point C all the more. Without Him we would take advantage of our surroundings and family and friends.

I hope this has touched others as much as it touched me. it really did make me think. God is Great and he has it all in his plan, even though we don't know what that plan is we know that he has one. So even though the wait may be horrendous, imagine how those dolphins felt when their world was turned upside down, they did not know it but it was to save their lives. We must remember that God is turning our world upside down to save ours.

Author: http://miasvisionexperience.blogspot.com/

Getting closer!

So, last Thursday we were told in a few days we would be on Mr. Barrios desk. Friday. Monday. Tuesday: PGN closed, boo! Wednesday. That's a few days, right? Here's to Mr. Barrio's getting that big ol' bright orange file off his desk ASAP!

We are busy around here preparing for our trip next Thursday. The boys will have plenty. I'm not allowing Gary to bring anything. And I'll have at least one change of clothing. LOL Seriously, I feel like there is SO much stuff to take for the "Muy Activo" boys!

I am VERY excited about our trip and my staying, but it's hard not to ignore how scary everything will be!

Growing up, my friend belonged to a pool. This was a HUGE treat for us to get to go with her on guest passes. One of my strongest memories is of looking out at that Hive Dive each year and watching all the kids fly off of it into the water. I always wanted to do it. At the beginning of each summer, I'd sit and watch kid after kid jump off. As I grew older, sometimes I'd even work up the nerve to get in line. Sometimes I'd make it to the first wrung on the ladder before looking up at the mile high climb and then bolting out of line!

I have a distinct memory of actually climbing the ladder once or twice. Walking out the incredibly long plank and thinking, the high dive looked high from the lounge chair, but with the wind blowing up here, it feels like I'm in a flight pattern and this should not be considered a legal activity by the pool god's anymore than running within the pool's confined area is considered legal.

I always told myself, just do it, just climb the ladder, get to the edge and jump. It will be over in a minute. Once you've committed to the jump, the rest just happens! You don't have to do the next steps: Okay, now I'll fall through the air. Next, I will enter the water. Your job is over once you step off. The rest just happens to you. You're not in control anymore.

I used to think of ways to soften the blow - if I sit on the high dive (which is not allowed!), maybe if I can turn around and actually hang off the plank (which causes the lifeguard to blow the whistle FURIOUSLY!), I could cut my "fall" distance in 1/2!

From the ground I'd watch other attempters...getting cheered on by those around the pool, "Jump! jump!" And getting yelled at by those behind them on the ladder - who are growing more and more impatient waiting for their turn, "Jump Already!" And eventually, getting whistle blowed at "TOOT! TOOT! TOOT!" as the lifeguard god goes ballistic signaling time is up: Jump or Retreat!

I was excited when they jumped! Deflated when the walked back down - a long process, since everyone else had to back down the ladder as well. And for kids , who are an unorganized lot by nature, it was no easy task to back up 15 or 20 deep and allow the non-jumper retreating access. And it was painful to watch all pool activity seemingly cease as the high dive was momentarily "shut down."

I always thought if I could just get up there and get to the edge, I'd buckle under the pressure. That the pressure would make me jump.

Well, never underestimate the power of height! I remember quite a few summers, where I was the annoying non-jumper causing the traffic jam on the way back down the ladder! LOL

The morale of the story? I feel like I'm on the high dive now. Once I get on the plane – I’ve jumped! So, for the next week, I’m standing on the high dive platform….

Everyone is cheering me on. Nobody is impatient, pushing me, excpet my own inner gut that's ready to be a mommy to my boys. And there's no annoying lifeguard, just a few parents and loved ones who are cautiously "worried" about me.

When I finally jumped as a kid (hey, a teenager is STILL considered a kid!), sure the fall was scary – but you knew it would eventually end. You basically only had to keep your body vertical (belly flops would HURT! As an expert spectator, of this I was sure!). Two or three seconds after the jump – you’re in water, familiar territory. And before you know it you’re enjoying it and doing it again and again.

My stomach is not quite doing the butterflies or flipping yet. From two visit trips, I know that once I “get my feet wet," we’ll settle into a routine. It’s just that about that time on the trip, Gary will be leaving. And I will be left alone, in charge of the two little peanuts, in a foreign land, by myself….two to one, as a first time mommy. Okay, maybe a butterfly or two.

But when I break it down to basics….All I need to do is to feed them and they need to poop. Technically, we don’t need to entertain, we don’t need to leave the room (I can have everything delivered). We don’t have to wear clothes, if we’re never leaving the room. Feed and poop – the only two jobs that matter. If I can manage those two things, I’ll consider my day a success! If they cry, they cry. If they don’t sleep – well, eventually they’ll have to and I can wait that out. But not eating is dangerous, and not pooping can cause lots of problems and may lead to a visit to the doctor’s which involves getting dressed, leaving the room , finding a doctor, getting to the doctor….. feed and poop, just feed and poop!

Everything else is a bonus!

So, I can DO this! I’ll just jump – fall for a few terrifying seconds, and then land safely! And it will be fun!

Hang on boys, your crazy Momma is comin’!!