Tuesday, August 19, 2008

Reintegrating Daddy - Chaos ensues

Daddy finally had a day off. The whole day off, not the kind where he still works 4 to 5 hours.

I had visions of grandeur, bells ringing, the heavens opening up for a day of rest and peace for Mom.

But Daddy and I were not in-sync.

My day started off in bed. Gary had just woken up and gone downstairs (hmm, maybe he'll make a pot of coffee, yea!). And I heard a baby wake-up, go to the top of the stairs and cry: "Mommy, mommy, mommy!!"

I waited. And waited for Gary to come get the baby. He. never. did.

I got out of bed. ugh. And got the baby. I went downstairs.

"Gary, um - did you hear the baby?"

"Yeah. Uh, but he was calling for you."




Are you serious?

The rest of the day just followed suit. We were like two un-well oiled machines that hadn't worked together all summer long. lol

I escaped to run a few errands because I was yelling at the kids, yelling at Gary, and I think yelling at the dog, too.

When I came home, everybody was upstairs. I went up and collapsed on my bed. The twins came in and out. I was on the phone with a friend. After I finished chatting, I lay in the empty, quiet room. I could hear Austin and Logan downstairs. "Hmm, let me make sure Gary is with them." From the house phone, I called his cell phone which was on the kitchen counter. He doesn't answer. I dial it several times. Then, from my cell phone, I dial the house phone. Three times. He never picks up. So, I. get. up. - ugh.

And I find Gary in the nursery rearranging their pajamas. (Why? I don't know?)

"Gary - the kids are downstairs. I'm not with them."

"Well, they were with you."

"Yeah, but they left. You're in charge today, honey." (you know that tone, right? lol)

"Well, but they were with you....why would I think or know they've left."


I go downstairs. And. Oh. It's so bad.

They have brought down the ginormous jar of Vaseline and emptied it!!! All over their table. All over their face, their body, their arms. They're TV. Our TV. The ottoman. The chair. Apparently, a clean-up was attempted - because a full box of wipes lay in disarray - also covered in Vaseline.

I got nailed before I could access the situation, so my shirt, my pants all got slimed in Vaseline.

And yes, my brain thought - capture this in pictures for the blog. But I was way too angry to even attempt. And would Vaseline even show up?

I threw the two of them out the back door and shut it - they were sliming everything in sight! Gary knew from my yells to get downstairs and started cleaning up (how the frick do you clean-up Vaseline!!!) right away.

I grabbed paper towels and headed out back to clean-up the boys......who had jumped in the swimming pool!!

Super - what could be better than wet vaseline!

So...I left the house again. lol. I went to Nonnie's for a girl's movie night.

But, God help us - Gary's off again tomorrow!


ManyBlessings said...

I would write something...but I'm laughing to hard and can't see through the tears streaming down my face....

Barb said...


Steph said...

I am so sorry, but I am laughing hysterically!! Of course, I had to share with Jason and we are both laughing and trying to figure out how you clean up vaseline! Oh wow. Oh wow. Oh wow.

Our Family of 5 said...

OMG! Now you need a day of rest to make up for the one you didn't have. Glad no one got hurt, especially Gary =)

Gwen, Jenny, & Mia said...

too funny! I thought you and Gary never argued and were perfect. So glad you are not : ) I hope you got everything cleaned up and nothing was permanately ruined! I hope his next day off is a better one!!!!

Tracey said...

Oh that tone of voice...know it already! But sister the thought of you and those cuties slimed in vaseline makes the whole bad day so worth it!!

Katie said...

Whew .... I am tired just reading this !!! Sounds so familiar :)

Jane said...

Ha ha ha ha!!! This sounds EXACTLY like our weekends. I can't count the times I think, "What is he doing??????" I think he does chores like laundry just so he can leave us. He says he's upstairs folding clothes, but I think he's up there giving himself a facial. LAME!

Bobbi said...

Joe had advice for Gary: SUCK UP!!!

I aplogize for laughing at your expense. Joe, on the other hand saw Gary's ill-fated first mistake.

WOW!! I am so glad I only have one trouble maker. He doesn't need a partner in crime!! THE SWIMMING POOL?????!!!!

Glad you left. You so deserved it.

Hope yesterday went better.

Heidi said...

I know I shouldn't laugh but I am! Oh, men. I understand.

Cheryl Lage said...

Oh bless you my sister, VASELINE? Yipes! But we are SOOO of the same mindset...our kiddos did a full-face marker (aka Blue Man Group audition) while they were believed to be playing quietly...so wanted to take pictures, but to them, pictures document GOOD things...

And thankfully, I'll NEVER forget those blue faces...as you won't the shiny ones! ;)

See you Thursday! :)

Anonymous said...

2569636Sounds like Gary and Jeff went to the same baby sitting school! (HEE HEE) I told Jeff from now on I am hiring a baby sitter to watch the kids when I am not around, it obvious that after all these years he has forgotten how to do it!

* TONYA * said...

I know it's wrong, but I can't help but laugh.

How do you clean up vaseline, oh and wet vaseline to boot.