Uncle "Barney"

Dear Austin and Logan –

I have kept this blog up for you – as it is the only baby book you will ever have. (Sorry about that.)

One day, when you’re grown – we’ll look over these posts. And the stories of your childhood.

One of my earliest memories is when my dad’s father passed away. I remember the heaviness, the sadness of my mom and dad and grandma. My impressions of that funeral lasted a life time.

This week has been a tough one for you guys. You have been amazing troopers!

Last Monday morning, you watched your Momma physically react to the most horrifying news that she has ever heard…..when she got a phone call that her baby brother was gone forever.

You were so scared.

And Momma had to get to Nonnie. I will forever be indebted to Barbara – our beloved neighbor and Momma to two of your best friends. She was here in seconds and whisked you away to the safety and happiness of her house. I tried to reassure you that your world was okay. That Momma was okay.

Barbara kept you safe all day. We reunited briefly… to try to… I don’t know, let you at least “see” everyone. I could only imagine what it must have looked like from your perspective. Then, you basically spent the week with Anne… it hurt so much to be away from you. I knew you were scared and worried. But you had so much fun with Grace, Jacob and Eli. I saw you every day. And you were such good boys. You were so worried about Momma’s eyes. And why Momma kept crying.

You know that Uncle “Barney,” as you called him, had gone to heaven to be with God. You know that he is with Grand-da-da and with Hunter (our dog). You know that HE is happy, but that Momma and Nonnie are so sad because we are going to MISS him to pieces!

You thought that when Momma said, “I missed you so much” – when Anne brought you around for hugs – that it was just like when Mommy said she missed “Uncle Barney.” You were so worried. It must have been such a confusing week for you.

We’re all together now. We’re wrapped up in a blanket of snow that Momma believes Grandaddy and Uncle Brian sent from heaven – eternal snow lovers, indeed! We’ll spend the next few days cuddled up together, reassuring you, hugging you.

Momma spoke at your Uncle’s funeral. When you’re ready…just ask me and I will share with you what I said.

Your Uncle loved you a lot and thought you were both incredibly smart and talented. And you guys had a wonderful time every time you were with him. I’m so sorry your innocence was exposed to such a traumatic experience, but…a part of living…..is indeed, dying. And we thank GOD for His love, His Grace, His Comfort. His every thing.

Never be afraid to ask me about this. Even if it makes Momma cry, it’s OKAY. I am here. We are safe. And I LOVE YOU SO MUCH.