Sunday, February 7, 2010

Uncle "Barney"

Dear Austin and Logan –

I have kept this blog up for you – as it is the only baby book you will ever have. (Sorry about that.)

One day, when you’re grown – we’ll look over these posts. And the stories of your childhood.

One of my earliest memories is when my dad’s father passed away. I remember the heaviness, the sadness of my mom and dad and grandma. My impressions of that funeral lasted a life time.

This week has been a tough one for you guys. You have been amazing troopers!

Last Monday morning, you watched your Momma physically react to the most horrifying news that she has ever heard…..when she got a phone call that her baby brother was gone forever.

You were so scared.

And Momma had to get to Nonnie. I will forever be indebted to Barbara – our beloved neighbor and Momma to two of your best friends. She was here in seconds and whisked you away to the safety and happiness of her house. I tried to reassure you that your world was okay. That Momma was okay.

Barbara kept you safe all day. We reunited briefly… to try to… I don’t know, let you at least “see” everyone. I could only imagine what it must have looked like from your perspective. Then, you basically spent the week with Anne… it hurt so much to be away from you. I knew you were scared and worried. But you had so much fun with Grace, Jacob and Eli. I saw you every day. And you were such good boys. You were so worried about Momma’s eyes. And why Momma kept crying.

You know that Uncle “Barney,” as you called him, had gone to heaven to be with God. You know that he is with Grand-da-da and with Hunter (our dog). You know that HE is happy, but that Momma and Nonnie are so sad because we are going to MISS him to pieces!

You thought that when Momma said, “I missed you so much” – when Anne brought you around for hugs – that it was just like when Mommy said she missed “Uncle Barney.” You were so worried. It must have been such a confusing week for you.

We’re all together now. We’re wrapped up in a blanket of snow that Momma believes Grandaddy and Uncle Brian sent from heaven – eternal snow lovers, indeed! We’ll spend the next few days cuddled up together, reassuring you, hugging you.

Momma spoke at your Uncle’s funeral. When you’re ready…just ask me and I will share with you what I said.

Your Uncle loved you a lot and thought you were both incredibly smart and talented. And you guys had a wonderful time every time you were with him. I’m so sorry your innocence was exposed to such a traumatic experience, but…a part of living…..is indeed, dying. And we thank GOD for His love, His Grace, His Comfort. His every thing.

Never be afraid to ask me about this. Even if it makes Momma cry, it’s OKAY. I am here. We are safe. And I LOVE YOU SO MUCH.

16 comments:

Steph said...

I am so sorry for your loss. You wrote a beautiful letter to your boys.

Bobbi said...

Donna, again I am tears at your post. How I only wish it was the usual tears of reading about one of your oh, so funny stories. What a beautiful post to your boys. Your brother was a very handsome man. Our love to you all

Jamie said...

I am saddened by your loss; but praise God knowing "Uncle Barney" is in heaven feasting and dancing with the heavenly angels. Your boys are so lucky to have a mama that loves them so much...peace of the Lord be with you.

Deb said...

I wish I could hug you in person so so tight....so next time I see you, be prepared.....

This is beautifully written and I know your boys feel your love ~ they always will!

cesbloom said...

What a beautiful explanation you have written for your boys. I am so very sorry for your loss - please know that your family is in our thoughts and prayer. Sheri

Hannah said...

I am so sorry for your loss. I am sending hugs and prayers to you and the rest of your family.

Heidi said...

I'm sorry for your loss. I can't even imagine. You are such a strong person. Prayers are with you! Your boys will appreciate this post so much.

Greta Jo said...

Donna-WOW! You have been through so much in the last few years. I am truly sorry.
Your letter is so beautiful to your boys. I am praying for you. Brothers hold such a special place in our hearts. May you have sweet memories of him.

xoxoxox

Christina said...

Donna,

You are so sweet,caring, and a great mom to write your boys such a beautiful letter. I'm very sorry for your loss....i continue to keep you and your family in my thoughts, & prayers.

Helene said...

Donna, I'm so sorry for your loss. This was such a beautifully written post for your boys to read when they're older. They're little now and don' have too much understanding of what's going on but they'll appreciate the fact that you took the time to remember all the details of that week, even though it had to be painful to write about it.

Sending you and your boys many hugs...

cat said...

Oh I ma so sorry for your loss.

ABIGAIL said...

This letter to your boys is so sweet--what a wonderful idea to write to your kids so they have something to read from you in the future.


My name is Abigail Pogrebin; I'm an identical twin and former 60 Minutes producer who just published a book about twins called "One and the Same." I think any parent of twins will find much to chew on and maybe some guidance as to how to dodge pitfalls of doubleness. I'd love to speak to you about the possibility of a book giveaway, review and/or author Q&A. My email is apogrebin@gmail.com, website:www.abigailpogrebin.com.

Beth said...

Dear Donna,
My heart is just breaking for you for your loss. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers. This letter is beautiful and will be a great gift to the boys one day. Your strength and faith continue to amaze me... Much love.

Guatmama said...

Thinking of you Donna.

ManyBlessings said...

I'm so sorry Donna. There certainly aren't any words for something like this. Just praying that God's peace overwhelms you.

I'm so sorry.

Anne said...

I have no words for you dear friend. I am so so sorry for your loss. I will pray that God continues to comfort you and your whole family. Tell Nonnie I love her and am looking forward to seeing her again soon. Grace wants to give her lots of hugs and kisses.