Friday, August 7, 2009

Got Monsters?

I am not as "straight-forward" (read: simple-minded) as the hubby is. His response to "I'm scared of the monsters..." is "There are NO monsters." Said. Done. End of discussion.

But when it's my turn to bathe and put down to bed and all I hear is "...monsters, monsters, monsters, blah, blah, blah," I take a more "solve-the-problem" style of approach. In the past, I've had "Magic Monster Be Gone Spray" = Febreeze covered in sparkly decorated paper and stickers and as I sprayed, I'ld chant "Monsters be gone, magic, magic everywhere, no more monsters" in my best authoritative commandeering magic voice (while freshing up a bit before nighty-night- how convenient!).

One night while getting the boys dressed for bed, Austin and Logan were still going on about "No monsters in the room, Mommy..." when one of them, um, rather loudly, passed a little gas. Ever -the-quick-thinking-utilizing-all-tools-available-to-me-kinda gal that I am, I proclaimed "Monsters are afraid of farts!" Ergo, with 5 males around and one aging dog, we surely, clearly have the most monster free house on the block!

After a loud fart, I'll shout - "Look - there goes that monster, out the front door and out of the house!" Always met with a round of laughter. There has been some concern that the monsters have invaded our friends and neighbors home, but I've assured Austin and Logan that they have fart-dwelling inhabitants as well. I think this may have even been investigated verbally in one or two inappropriate-outside-of-the home-conversations, but I'm not 100% sure. "Um, excuse me, Did Austin or Logan just ask if your husband farts?"

But who knew? - This afternoon, while coloring at the table. My not-so-delicate-it's-been-exposed-to-too-much-nose caught a whiff of a little something, something in the air. "Uh-oh, does somebody have to go poo-poo? Mommy smells a little something." I was met with half murmured "no's." A few moment's go by, "Okay - somebody has GOT to go poo-poo. Crayons down. Come on, lets go!"

Austin stops coloring. Looks up at me and very slowly, with straight faced seriousness states, "Mom, I. Am. Scaring. Monsters. Away. Okay?" And then returns to coloring and I can only assume his continued De-monstering of the house!"

Can it be - that at age 3 he already knows "silence is more deadly?"

Playdate anyone? We're cheaper than Ghostbusters!


Cheryl Lage said...

No wonder we've never had any monsters in our house! Who knew that the toots were such a deterrent?!?

What a great story! (Hey, did you know that Linda at ShortPumpPreppy is putting together a list of Richmond MommyBloggers? Go add in!)

Steph said...

OMG. I think I may have scared away a couple of monsters laughing so hard! :) hehehe!! HILARIOUS!!!

Steph said...

Ok, just had to tell you that I was laughing out loud when Jason came in the room and the first thing out of his mouth..."What are the twins doing now?" HA! He had no idea what I was reading, but must know that the funniest stuff comes from VA! Of course, I had to read him the post and we were both in stitches!

Helene said...

That is classic!!! And brilliant, I might add!! Who knew that farting could de-Monster a house? I'll have to remember that next time my kids are freaked out about monsters!!!

Isn't it funny though how they were able to use it against you when they didn't want to take the time to go to the bathroom while they were coloring? I'm always underestimating my kids...they're smart little cookies, aren't they?

Thank you so much for stopping by my blog and for your kind words!!!! Your boys are beautiful and I'll be sure to come back....I have a feeling we have a very similar sense of humor!

Bobbi said...

OH, as usual those boys have me rolling with laughter!!!!

On another note, great job Mom. Quick thinking has certainly solved that one!!! YEAH for you being on your toes.

UMMMMMMMM one small problem with this eye candy!!!

Hannah said...

That is SO funny!! Life with never changes :)

Tracey said...

Too funny...I promise not to teach the twins about scissors, if you promise to keep Van away from the monster scare tactics!!