Sunday, May 13, 2012

Ten things I learned from my mother

My mom always gets me the most beautiful, the most perfect hallmark cards for every occasion.  And she underlines the things that she especially agrees with!  I never get her cards anymore.  Basically, because right now in my chaotic life, I tend to live minute to minute which means I never "plan" that trip to the store to select cards.  ;-)  BUT what I do do is write! 

So, mom (who has abandoned me on this Mother's Day and is already en route to the beach for a week!), here is your Mother's Day card!

Ten things I learned from my mother:
1) How to sew, Mom is a seamstress.  An excellent one!  Somehow she managed to teach me how to sew.  I hate patterns and just like to create.  Any idea what that can do to a seamstress!?

2) To try and respect other people's things, take care of them. (I always borrowed Mom's jewelry, sweaters, etc...and usually lost them, tore them or somehow destroyed them. ;-(  )

3) To stand by your man - even if you don't agree with him!  There were a few times Dad raised his daughter rather um, old school wise.  Much to my HUGE resentment.  Mom hugged me, counseled me, agreed it wasn't fair, even talked to Dad on my behalf.  But when he stuck to his guns, she stuck by his a loving way, saying "Dad has his reasons for wanting to protect you and I have to support him.  We'll get through this together."

4)  Even though love alone can't save a broken child, never give up on him. 

5) Screaming and yelling at your children does not have long term/lasting effects on them.

6) You don't have to like your children all of the time, but they always need to know they are loved and above all - accepted. 

7) In times of financial stress, go without.  And keep on workin at it - eventually you will cross over that mountain!

8) Women are stronger than men.  And mothers never show their fear.    

9)  Mourn from the inside out.  And then put one foot in front of the other to return to land of the living.

10)  That thank you's from your children are implied and that's okay, but when they take the time to verbalize their appreciation, it does wonders for the spirit.

11) It's okay to let go and watch your children struggle and even fail, but it's also okay to step in at the last minute and save them! 

12) Just by being there and showing support and not judging - you can make a huge difference in a person's life.  And that you may have an additional 10 or so daughters at your house because of that accepting love!

13)  Tell your daughter she is beautiful at every stage of her up and down weight.   Compliment her often.  On her abilities, on her perseverance, her attitude and especially on her own mothering capabilities! 

14) Make your house a home, have lots of places for people to sit, make it warm and inviting, stuff doesn't always have to match, and it doesn't need to be high end.  You'll know if you've achieved this by that fact that everybody falls asleep in your den (even first time visitors).  And also - no one ever wants to leave your home!

15)  That you are never too old to learn new tricks....or new responsibilities, like maintaining a home, and a lawn, and EVERYTHING else that a widow suddenly has to learn in her 70's.

16) How to have a HUGE heart!  My mother gives and gives and gives to us, emotionally, physically, financially.  There is no thank you BIG enough in this world to cover just how much she does for us.  And most days, the kids fuss at her, we forget to thank her, and she probably goes home wondering why the heck she does what she does anyway!  But I cannot even begun to wonder where we would be without her!  I wouldn't be able to work as much, we would be living on Ramen noodles, I probably would have lost my mind, Gary would have left me for being so crazy, and the kids would be left to fend for themselves!  ;-) 

Obviously, it is not just TEN things I've learned from you, Mom!  It's probably 1000x10.  Everything I am is because of you.  Because you have always believed in me.  Always saw me to be more than I was. Or what I thought I was.  You are the strongest woman I know.  You are kicking life's ass at 71 years of age - you are beautiful, you are full of life, and you keep showing up on my doorstep everyday to watch your crazies!  I LOVE you beyond measure! 

 Nonnie and all her grandsons (and their girlfriends!)

 One of my favorite pictures of the three of them - they all so beautiful!

 Nonnie is always ready to help the boys with their various experiments.
Including facepainting:
 Austin is SO serious about painting Nonnie's face, but she is CRACKING UP!
(as was I)

 Yes, the "paint" is chalk!

 Nonnie is a TROOPER!

 She does this a LOT!
Human armchair.

Nonnie, my brother (Mitch) and his better half (Patsy).
Nonnie is modeling her twin-made birthday crown.

Me and my other half. 
Mom, I love you to pieces!
I know, even today, especially today,
you are still in the background of my life.
You do you not receive near enough the appreciation and recognition you deserve!
But I am putting it out here for all the world to know.
You made me.  Not just created me, but MADE me, the woman I am today.
Thank you!
I love you!
You put up with a LOT from me!
I know it is, by far, not the easiest job in the world!

Have fun at the beach,
and we'll see you in a few days.



Amy said...

I love you mom! What an awesome thing to be able to express it to her. You are a lucky girl, but you already know that!! :) You really should write a book you are so good with words! xoxo

Christina said...

Awesome post! I agree with Amy about writing a book. This made me very teary eyed. UMMM NONNIE IS 71? WHATTTT? Would never have know that. YOU GO NONNIE!

Anne said...

Awww! What an awesome post. It made me tear up. I only met Nonnie once and I love her.

Nonnie said...

By far, this is the best Mother's Day card I have ever received. Thank you, my precious daughter, for actually putting your feelings in writing with such a heartfelt post. You can't possibly know how much it means to me. You're a very special gal and I love you dearly.